As Norman Miller's feature in today's G2 demonstrates, food allergies are better understood and catered for than ever. But when my first son Angus was diagnosed with severe allergies to dairy products at six months old and my second son, Robin, was diagnosed with a gluten intolerance at three it was both a relief and a great source of anxiety. It was a relief to understand which foods to avoid as this allowed us to manage their diet carefully, to ensure they remained well. We were, however, extremely anxious about the social, logistic and practical impact their dietary restrictions would have on their lives and our family as a whole. Would we ever be able to eat away from home again? How would we explain the boys' requirements to others without sounding neurotic?

The first challenge was to master home cooking. Most ready-made foods were off limits and cooking from fresh became essential. I was lucky that with the boy's particular combination of allergies and my professional food background, cooking for my family at home was not as big an issue as I thought it would be. Eating the same food at mealtimes became, and remains, a priority. I don't have time to run a cafe and it's important that the children do not have the opportunity to be faddy, as this only handicaps them when they are invited to spend time with friends and family.

When we're away from home, life becomes more challenging. We have taken to carrying a whole suitcase of 'free-from' food with us when we go on holiday as suitable snacks and light meals are can't be found at the average service station, train station or airport. We buy fresh fruit and veg when we arrive, but the case is stuffed with soya milk, gluten-free bread, cereal, biscuits and pasta; it's just too stressful otherwise. One year six cartons of soya milk burst, leaving us with rather soggy clothes. Self catering accommodation is also the way forward for maintaining control over our food.

Living with dietary restrictions is potentially isolating at social occasions. Celebrations and get-togethers often revolve around food. It is disappointing and embarrassing if you or your child cannot eat what's on offer and this is made worse with other people's comments and questions. To make sure you enjoy the event, it's essential to talk through the menu with your hosts beforehand. Even the most well-intentioned cooks may smear butter on a chicken before roasting or add flour to the gravy out of habit. We find it's best to ask them what they are planning to cook. The intended menu might be fine, it may need a couple of subtle alterations or if it really is unsuitable, you can always offer to bring along your own food.

Children's parties are the greatest worry. Party food, by definition, is hooching with dairy products and gluten. Cakes, buttercream icing, ice cream, sandwiches; the list of potentially dangerous foods is endless and the only way round this is to send the boys along with a box of party food made in the safety of my own kitchen. This can be subtly turned out on to a paper plate and placed in front of them and none of the other children notice.

Although we would rather live without the worry of allergies, good things have come out of it. The need to cook from fresh has meant we have built our family life around cooking from scratch, and as a result our diet is healthier than I suspect it would be otherwise. We have had many happy meals around our kitchen table with friends and family, and the children are extremely knowledgeable about food, as they are obliged to know what it might contain before they eat it. We have also been very touched by the effort others go to, to accommodate the boys' needs. It has also provided me with the inspiration for a book, and the launch of a company making gluten free bread.

Things are changing rapidly, too. Specialist foods have often been full of ingredients that you'd rather not eat, in order to extend shelf life and improve texture. Until recently, retailers insisted on a six-month shelf life, but there's now a strong move towards fresh foods. It's a massive change, and while our food suitcase remains essential, its contents are much fresher. If you have any tricks for living with food allergies, we'd love to hear them.