I’ve become this Leyla because of amazing women who paved the way. Before listing them, it’s important to acknowledge the two women who gave me the values I live and work by: my mother and grandmother.
My grandma was a survivor of child marriage and FGM. Born to a Somali mother and a Yemeni father, she was married off at the age of 11 and gave birth to 13 children. Despite her struggles she was educated, taught home economics at schools and later become one of biggest female entrepreneurs in Somalia. She took me to my first march in Mogadishu for International Women’s Day, but my favourite memory of her is cursing like a sailor.
My mother was protected from early child marriage, joined the army, became a police officer, later trained as an accountant and ended up working for the Somali government. She taught me the importance of being financially independent and not to be afraid to question authority.
One trait my mother and grandmother share was to help those who were extremely vulnerable. On many occasions when I came back from school I would find a homeless family had occupied my room. My mother taught me that kindness is the characteristic we should all embody.
During my life as a therapist and a campaigner I’ve been influenced by other women. Here are my greatest teachers, some of whom I am lucky to call my friends and some I have yet to meet in person.
Jennifer Bourne RGN, Queen’s Nurse
I met Jennifer at the age of 22 after given birth to my daughter. She was the first person to tell me about the health affects of FGM and that it was illegal. All this was delivered in a kind, non-judgmental manner. She is a leading specialist nurse in FGM and a trained psychotherapist. She currently works for the department of health on the FGM-prevention programme.
She is the reason my daughter was protected from FGM. She gave me the tools and awareness to stand against this vile practice. We have worked together for past 14 years and still do. One vital lesson I’ve learned from her is the ability to empathise with the survivors of violence that we work with on a daily basis. I love crying with Jenny, it’s the way we bond – we hug it out.
Efua Dorkenoo OBE
Efua Dorkenoo is my biggest mentor in the anti-FGM campaign, she was my colleague and, most importantly, a friend through good and difficult times. She was widely regarded as the mother of the worldwide movement to end FGM. We sadly lost her in October 2014 and I miss her tremendously.
Efua began campaigning against the practice in the early 80s, while working for the charity Minority Rights Group (MRG). She published the first report on the subject in Britain. This helped her secure the funds to set up the Foundation for Women’s Health, Research and Development (Forward) in 1983, to safeguard the sexual and reproductive health and rights of African women and girls, with a focus on the abolition of FGM. For her work with Forward, Efua was awarded an OBE in 1994.
I miss her saying “hello my baby girl” whenever she saw me. I loved travelling with her and enjoyed our late talks in Kenya after long days of meeting with campaigners. She treated me like a daughter. My dream is to one day visit her beloved Ghana.
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah has been my heroine since seeing her on TV in late 90s but my admiration for her isn’t her billion-dollar media company or talkshow, but her ability to use her platform to make change.
Oprah is responsible for the strength I gained to finally share my story about undergoing FGM. One late evening while looking for some inspirational TV, I googled Ms Winfrey and came across an episode where she broke down on live TV. It was the moment she realised she had never faced up to the abuse she suffered as a child, and asked: how could she help others if she couldn’t face herself? Her reflection on this episode hit home with me. I asked myself: how do I tackle FGM and support survivors if I’m not willing to put myself to the forefront and face up to the abuse I endured? So I decided to speak out about my own story.
Agnes Pareyio
Agnes is a predominant global campaigner on girls rights, specifically FGM and early/child marriage. I’ve heard about her years ago when I was struggling with my position in the UK anti-FGM campaign. I started to campaign in 2002, but didn’t share my story till 2007. The intensity of the backlash had devastated me until I saw Agnes on screen shouting at cutters and the local police in her village in Kenya asking why they were not doing enough to protect girls from harm. I thought to myself, if Agnes can face cutters and the police and with lack of resources and protection, I need to kick my ass into shape and face the world.
I finally met Agnes in 2014 when we launched The Girl Generation Global campaign that supports the Africa-led movement to end FGM. She was the one that emphasised that there was no place for political correctness when protecting our children.
Helly Luv
We live in a world where violence is used to control others. Helly Luv, real name Helan Abdulla, chooses to fight Islamic State with her music. Her beautiful red hair and lips and eccentric outfits are hard to miss. The war in northern Iraq hits close to home for Luv as she grew up in the country’s Kurdistan region. Her father once fought for the Peshmerga, the very forces today battling Isis. Helly is our modern heroine challenging the world through her words and music. The more I learn about her, the more I realise she has the strength I wish I had to combat al-Shabaab in my home country, Somalia.
Deeyah Khan
If, as Madeleine Albright said, “there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other,” then Deeyah will be swimming, flying and dancing in paradise. She is a great example of a woman who not only empowers women, but brings them on to her global platform.
She is a pioneer of solidarity, clearly demonstrated by her Emmy-winning film, Banaz: A Love Story, which was groundbreaking in its coverage of the so-called “honour” killing of British woman Banaz Mahmod. The film is now used as training material for police and social services around the world.
Her World Woman festival is a platform she created mainly for Muslim women to share their stories, creativity and expertise. She gave me the privilege to share a stage with amazing global human rights campaigners such as Mona Eltahawy, Nawal El Saadawi, Hinal Jinali and Fawzia Koofi, the first female parliamentarian in Afghanistan. Deeyah recently founded Sisterhood, a digital magazine and a series of live events spotlighting the voices of women of Muslim heritage.
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