Name: Stress bragging.
Age: As a tactic, ancient; as a term, about three months old.
Appearance: Overworked and proud.
This is people accidentally boasting while under stress? This is people deliberately boasting about being stressed at work, while at work.
Why would you do that? To make yourself seem competent and effective; to prove you’re a team player who’s willing to go the extra mile.
I see. How devious. The thing is, it can backfire.
What makes you so sure? There’s research to prove it. A new study published in the journal Personnel Psychology had 360 participants rate an imaginary co-worker who indulged in stress bragging.
What did they find? They found that the practice can have significant negative workplace consequences for the stress braggarts.
What kind of consequences? Colleagues will tend to see you as less likable and less competent. They’re also less likely to help you out in times of need.
You mean they hate me just because I’m stressed at work? No, it’s because you won’t stop going on about it. “It’s not the being stressed part that’s a problem,” says the study’s lead author, Jessica Rodell. “We found that if I perceive you as stressed, I actually see you as more competent.”
But how will my co-workers perceive that I’m stressed if I don’t tell them? It’s more about how you tell them. “If you genuinely feel stressed, it’s OK to find the right confidant to share with and talk about it,” says Rodell. “But be mindful that it is not a badge of honour to be bragged about.”
So what should I do about the stress braggarts in my office? Ignore them? Unfortunately it’s not that simple. Stress bragging also has negative consequences for those on the receiving end.
Oh my God – like what? The colleagues of stress braggarts often report higher levels of stress themselves.
Why? Because the braggarts normalise workplace stress. “It just spills over on to the co-worker next to them,” says Rodell. “They wind up feeling more stressed, which leads to higher burnout or withdrawal from their work. Think of it as this spiralling contagious effect from one person to the next.”
I’ll tell you what – I did not need this on my plate right now. Relax. Breathe deeply.
OK, thanks. Now what? Now gather all that stress into a big ball and keep it to yourself.
Do say: “I humbly submit that I am freaking out.”
Don’t say: “Nothing much, just crying in the bath. What about you? Have you got weekend plans?”
