Growing up in Sydney, I knew the city prided itself on its “first light culture” long before the state government made it the focal point of its tourism campaign. It’s hard to miss the golden rays lighting the masses returning in their Lycra from runs in Centennial Park or surfing Bondi’s waves long before the work day has even begun. For one glorious morning, I joined them getting myself up to go to a 6am pilates class followed by a dip in the ocean. The beauty of the morning combined with the supercilious sense of having accomplished so much before my alarm normally went off was intoxicating.

There was only one problem. I cannot get to bed early to save my life.

As a child, I would get out of bed and feign an interest in overseas tennis tournaments to join my mother watching them late on television. In my teenage years I’d stay up past my bedtime to watch interviews on YouTube, and at university pulled more all-nighters than I care to remember. In recent years, influenced by a culture increasingly concerned about sleep hygiene, I have tried my best to curb what feels like a bad habit born out of a lack of self-control.

In my mind, accepting this challenge of getting better sleep was synonymous with becoming a morning person, something I have never been able to do. So it is somewhat of a relief when Dr Moira Junge, the chief executive of the Sleep Health Foundation and an adjunct clinical associate professor at Monash University, tells me this is not a result of laziness on my part but a product of my genetics. “It’s like our eye colour and our hair colour, we are predisposed to being naturally a night owl or a morning lark. But because of work and family commitments, not many of us have the luxury of living true to our chronotype,” Junge says.

Junge’s advice is that I need to embrace my chronotype, sleep in as late as I can manage within the constraints of my work life and not try get up for a 6.30am yoga class if it’s going to make me feel tired all week. When it comes to what time I go to bed, Junge also wants to help me reorient certain beliefs I have around sleep. If my melatonin – the hormone the brain produces at night when it’s dark as part of the process that makes us want to sleep – doesn’t come out till closer to midnight, “let’s not characterise [being awake at] midnight as naughty,” Junge says. She only wants me to be in my bed for the amount of time I’m realistically going to get sleep. Sleep is extremely individual, Junge says, but much of contemporary culture’s anxieties about what ideal sleep looks like makes us rigid and preoccupied in a way that is actually counterproductive.

Week one

I go with my own plans; trying to get into bed before 11pm and leaving my curtains open so I can wake up with the natural light. Much of the week is marked by a familiar pattern of spending the day feeling tired, looking forward to an early night, but getting a second wind around 9pm. I persist but by Saturday afternoon I am utterly listless. I manage to muster up the energy to meet friends for dinner but don’t quite feel like the best version of myself.

Week two

I speak to Junge and am enlightened. The advice that’s easiest to implement immediately is to embrace “strategic napping” (planned naps no longer than 30 minutes) on days I have to get up early or otherwise feel I haven’t been able to get enough sleep. I have an especially busy weekend and have ended up staying out quite late Friday and Saturday night, exacerbated by the fact I’ve lost an hour of sleep with daylight saving. Nevertheless, I end up feeling much better this weekend than last because I nap and don’t try to soldier on despite feeling tired.

Week three

The change that’s starting to come over me feels quite miraculous. Instead of being anxious that I’m not asleep or even in bed by 11pm, I’m allowing myself to read until I notice I’m starting to yawn. I turn the lights off and instead of tossing and turning in bed, I nod off to sleep seamlessly. Actually being able to home in and recognise my own body’s signals for sleep is a change I can only compare to learning to listen and eat according to its hunger cues.

Week four

Despite last week’s success I have a bit more on my plate this week and face a familiar problem. Despite implementing my winding down routine – reading while having a cup of tea and chocolate, even scrolling on my phone if I want – I find myself alone in the darkness of my room with my mind still buzzing. I follow Junge’s advice that no matter the reason I shouldn’t be lying in bed for longer than a half hour and, if I am still alert or frustrated, I should get up from bed and unwind a bit more. I choose to write down some of the tasks I need to do the next day and try some mindfulness exercises.

Week five

My sleep is definitely feeling more consistent than it ever has been because I am not oscillating between pushing myself to get up early some mornings and then catching up on sleep on others. Instead, I am just consistently allowing myself to go to bed at the time generally between 11 and 12 when I feel tired and get up as late as my work schedule permits. This week I am on a late work shift so I have the luxury of not even needing to set an alarm and waking up a little after 8am.

Week six

Instead of reading, one night I wind down talking to my sister who has called me from overseas. Luckily, I am less stressed about technology interfering with my sleep as Junge says the whole idea of needing to put your phone away two hours before you sleep is a “myth” and argues the problem of phones and blue light has been overstated. While it’s not good to use your phone in bed, Junge says it’s fine to use your phone before bed at night if it’s a relaxing use and the light is turned to night mode.

Week seven

A certain international election this week (it’s early November) sees my winding down routine again insufficient. I try to go to sleep but find my mind still alert so I get up and allow myself to read some more. When this happens, I don’t look at my phone or what time it is. I am getting better at being less preoccupied with how many hours sleep I am getting.

Week eight

I am noticing with more consistency in my sleep I am feeling more energised during the day, with far fewer days enduring a state of tired grogginess. Junge emphasises that “good sleep begets good sleep” – as ironically being sleep-deprived does not help that night’s sleep – so I feel like the work of the past few weeks are building on one another.

Week nine … the end

It’s perhaps the first time in my life I have a consistent sleep routine. I feel empowered by having better knowledge of what good sleep means and that I don’t have to harbour guilt for staying up later. The routine is definitely more bedded in, but at the same time the 66 days has gone more easily than I anticipated because part of my work has been to let go of the anxiety around trying to attain perfect sleep.